dating

What have you done to face your fears?

It’s that day!  Face your fear Friday!!

I’m not talking about me today.  Instead I’m talking about my long, lost roommate (of a whole week.)  Ps – I miss you, Randleski!! :-)  Scott took last week’s blog post and the homework assignment very seriously and stepped outside of his comfort zone.  I’m pleased to report that Scott is still very much alive and his mental muscle is stronger for this step.  Take a peek at Randleski’s blog [here].

Not pleased with the outcome?  Why not?  I am.  He’s stronger for it!  Plus, as I explained to him, she can’t be human.  She doesn’t like coffee.  Interspecies relationships rarely work ;-)

So happy people are starting to take this fear thing by the *ahem*!!  This is exactly why I’ve dedicated Fridays to it.  Please don’t hesitate to reach out to me with your own fear story.  Let’s keep encouraging others to do the same.

And also – Happy Valentine’s Day!  Significant other or not, you’re loved!!!

Even Spielberg Got Rejected

Did you just say you don’t have a fear of rejection?  Don’t believe you.  I mean – there must be a few of you out there that are fearless, but let’s face it.  The one thing that freezes most of us in our tracks is fear of a two-letter-word.

NO!

This video is very clear – we’re all (regardless of our social status or level of success) going to be rejected at some point in our life.  Here’s the thing though:  You don’t know that you’ll be rejected unless you ask.  The fear of the two-letter-word stops most of us in our tracks.

  • “If I ask for that raise, my boss won’t give it to me – so why bother?”
  • “If I ask him out, he’ll say no.  Then I’ll be embarrassed.”
  • “If I go after that promotion, someone more qualified will get the job.”
  • “I can’t go after that big name client. I’m not a big name, myself.”

Stop it!

  • If you ask for that raise – what if your boss says yes?!  You have better quality of life with just one question.  Plus, you come off as someone who is confident – which certainly isn’t a bad thing come time for that promotion.
  • Is it possible that he’ll say no?  Sure – on to the next one.  Why would you be embarrassed?  Are you so arrogant to think that you are a match for everyone?  Let me clear that up for you.  You’re not – so brush your shoulders off and on to the next one.
  • If you go after that promotion – could you get passed up?  Sure!  If you do get passed up, you’ve gained interviewing experience (which is never bad) in case you get the opportunity to interview there again.  It shows you’re interested in growing with the company.  If you decide you don’t want to give it another shot with your current employer – it gives you the interview experience to take to interviews with potential new employers.
  • If you go after that big name client – sure…. They could go with another firm that’s larger and well known.  Worst that could happen?  You’re a name in their mind.  I guarantee that smaller businesses follow that company.  Maybe your name comes up with them.  Or best case – they hire YOU because, let’s be honest.  Sometimes clients buy not just experience or brand.  Sometimes they buy YOU.  Your character.  Your confidence.

More than any of that, being told no isn’t the end of your world.  Every time you get knocked down, you have to use that mental muscle to pull yourself back up.  It makes you stronger.

Your homework?  Do one thing this week that puts you in this zone.  Ask the guy or girl out that you’ve been wanting to (if they’re single.)  Ask for that raise at work.  The worse that can happen is that you end up stronger for it in the end.  I’m going to do the same.  Have to practice what I preach, right??

“As actors, we deal with rejection so much more than any other business. So I don’t care how much of a genius you are, if you don’t have the propensity to be able to get back up every time you get knocked down, then you’re not going to survive.” – Ryan Kwanten